Weekly Horoscope with Lucy Lunar


Aries March 21 - April 20
Learn to ask for help and assistance during an intimate act with a loved one. This will make a difference in your life.

Taurus April 21 - May 21
You’re overwhelmed this week. Have a good cry and tell no-one - it’s pathetic.

Gemini May 22 - June 21
Your decadent lifestyle is making you look, with the greatest respect, like a bum. Do 10 squat-thrusts.

Cancer June 21 - July 23
Your family may have made you feel emotionally vulnerable this week, tell your Uncle to stop it.

Leo July 24 - August 23
If you have no experience with plumbing, then don’t do it yourself. Get a quote and pay a professional.

Virgo August 24 - September 23
Stop drinking and you’ll feel more sober.

Libra September 24 - October 23
Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Have a shower.

Scorpio October 24 - November 22
You give too much when you have little. Smarten up, it’s unsustainable.

Sagittarius November 23 - December 21
Don’t shout on your mobile when you’re on a crowded train. It’s discourteous.

Capricorn December 22 - January 20
Stop touching it, you will only make it worse.

Aquarius January 21 - February 21
Buy a lottery ticket. I’m feeling lucky on your behalf.

Pisces February 22 - March 20
Buy Goldeneye on N64. It makes you happy.

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